3. 句子結(jié)構(gòu)

句子結(jié)構(gòu)方面要注意的事情很多，如單復(fù)數(shù)的一致，信息安排承上啟下，分詞短語(yǔ)的邏輯主語(yǔ)與句子主語(yǔ)一致（避免懸垂分詞），視角不要發(fā)生變化，結(jié)構(gòu)緊湊等等。這里略舉兩例。

原文：

可是，在北中國(guó)的冬天，而能有溫晴的天氣，濟(jì)南真得算個(gè)寶地。

原譯：

But when it comes to winter in North China, blessed with mild sunny weather, Ji'nan is indeed a precious land.

改譯：

But here in north China，to have a mild sunny winter is a boon that makes Ji'nan a very special place indeed.

說(shuō)明：

blessed with mild sunny weather的邏輯主語(yǔ)是“冬天”，不是“濟(jì)南”。

原文：

就憑這些綠的精神，水也不忍得凍上，況且那些長(zhǎng)技的垂柳還要在水里照個(gè)影兒呢！

原譯：

The striving-for-greener vitality alone could have touched the soul of the waters to stop freezing，not to mention the plea of those willows with long drooping branches to see the beautiful reflections of themselves in the waters!

改譯：

That alone must prevent the water from freezing over, not to mention all those weeping willows that wish to see their reflections!

說(shuō)明：

除了用詞搭配錯(cuò)誤之外（斜體部分），句子主語(yǔ)的變換（vitality→plea)，也使句子拗口，向誰(shuí)plea? 

原文：

因?yàn)橛羞@樣慈善的冬天，干啥還希望別的呢！

原譯：

Endowed with such benign winter, what else they need to yearn for!